sushidog: (Smeary)
[personal profile] sushidog
Some time ago, I wrote about some parts of me. I was going through a rather confusing and difficult time at that point, and was seeing a counsellor to try and get my head straightened out, and learning about the different aspects of me helped me a lot; actually, writing that entry was rather good for me too. What I didn't realise at that time (for various reasons which may or may not b e perfectly obvious) was that I missed out a part of me. And since writing about the first three helped, I figured I'd set the fourth down on virtual paper.
My fourth part, not the intellectual or the mother or the child, is a girl. Well, a young woman. She's very girly though; she blushes easily, and has very shiny eyes. She loves makeup and shoes and handbags and cocktails and pretty frocks. She flirts easily and comfortably, with pretty much anyone she likes. She's rather impractical, and a little irresponsible (fortunately she has Miss Academia with her to pull her up when she's being too silly). She's fun though. Fizz goes to her head and makes her giggle, and she's quite spontaneous (as long as Miss Academia isn't taking over). She aims for sophistication, but sometimes misses, but that only makes her blush and giggle more. She's gentle, not brash. She's a little like Cousin Marilyn from the Munsters, and dresses like her too, in 50's looking frocks and very "done" hair. She likes Mama, as Mama looks after her, and she admires Miss Academia but wouldn't necessarily go for a drink with her. She'll coo over the little girl for a while, and play with her, but she gets bored easily, and she doesn't entirely know what to do with her after a while; she's a little embarrassed by her.

Can you identify and personify the parts which, summed, go towards your whole (as it were)? Or is this something odd that only I do?

I do wonder if I'm going to keep on identifying different parts of myself every so often, until I have a whole crowd of mes (that looks as though it needs an apostrophe, but it can't have one), or have I nailed them all now, or is it just impossible to express one's whole self, no matter how many parts one personifies? Perhaps the whole really is more than the sum of its parts. Perhaps social psychologists should start looking at the group dynamics of the individual...

Date: 2006-06-19 01:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Can you identify and personify the parts which, summed, go towards your whole (as it were)?

Not only that, but I can separate them and behave as one or another at will. In fact I am only ever *all* of me, for me. Usually when alone.

You won't take it the wrong way if I say I like your bits will you?

Date: 2006-06-19 02:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Not only that, but I can separate them and behave as one or another at will. In fact I am only ever *all* of me, for me. Usually when alone.
Yes, different bits of me appear at different times. This one wasn't much in evidence when I wrote the first piece, but gets out and about a lot more nowadays, which is nice. I like her, she's sweet.

You won't take it the wrong way if I say I like your bits will you?
*heh* No no, I'll take it in the spirit in which it was intended!

Date: 2006-06-19 02:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Tori, Tear In My Hand....I had to. I'm sure you understand ;)

Date: 2006-06-19 02:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
*point* I thought you probably would... in fact, you did last time! :-)

Date: 2006-06-19 02:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yeah, I know, I just can't stop myself! ;)

Date: 2006-06-19 02:16 pm (UTC)
canudiglett: (cheek)
From: [personal profile] canudiglett
I think there are two main parts of me: the ambulancy part (who is sensible and patient and helps people) and the goth part (who is irresponsible, usually drunk and a total drama queen). There are probably lots of little parts too.

Date: 2006-06-19 02:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Last time, I opined that such thinking was beyond my limited brain.

Now it isn't. This is really rather excellent.

Date: 2006-06-19 02:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Cool, that's ace! One thing LJ is useful for; looking back and seeing how far you've come.

Date: 2006-06-19 03:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

1) There's my enthusiastic creative person side - the one that thinks in hyperlinks, searches out the new way of doing things (obsessively), and connects disparate things. The one that gets excited purely about ideas, and knowing new things so that I can connect it to everything else, and desperate to find a level at which I can engage with anyone I meet. I'm very fond of him, but he can be a bit full-on at times, has a short attention span, and has very poor impulse control.

2) There's Mr Urbane - but a lot of him isn't real, and is an enhancement of my social mask. I mean it's natural to me, but being able to switch it on an off at will is something new.

3) There's the 14 year old with low self esteem, desperate to be accepted and terrified of being seen as not up to snuff, either socially or professionally. He's my paranoia, my self-obsession, my fear of being rumbled. He's no longer my main personality, thank christ.

4) There's my better nature (my "soul", if you will). The seat of my compassion, the bit that gets all daffy over small animals, who gets very emotional about aesthetics, who gets incedibly upset if my friends are upset (not that it shows), and feels very strongly about friendship, love, affection, loyalty etc.

5) But behind all of it is cold, calculating, emotionless me - what I refer to as "my observer". I suppose he's my superego. He's the one directing all the aspects, telling me that I'm being a prat, or that I can turn something to my advantage, or does my strategic thinking without sentiment. I say emotionless, but I think it's more than he is icily controlled, and thinks the unthinkable (and when he's on control, says the unsayable).

The rest of me is various blends of the above, some for the better some for the worse. The overall integration is improving, and I've become skilled at choosing which aspects to display according to who I'm with. I need to know someone VERY well before I drop the various masks - but the real core of my being? He's mine, and remains hidden.

Date: 2006-06-19 08:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Paddington Bear, Wilf Lunn, Fred Dibnah, and Eeyore, in about equal measures.

Date: 2006-06-19 08:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
WILF LUNN!!!!!!!

Wow, that's not a name one hears very often any more.

Date: 2006-06-19 09:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Actually, having just seen Steve Coogan's triumphal new show, I believe that on some level I am Tommy Saxondale.

Date: 2006-06-20 10:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh, thanks, a chance to place my new icon somewhere relevant.

If you add up all my parts, you get a confusing mess, it seems. But then, trying to compartmentalise isn't something I do. I do negotiations like playing a hand of poker, and taking socialising as seriously as work.

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